All's fair in love and... guest lists?

I come from a blended family. Both of my parents have moved on since their divorce, finding wonderful people to (re)dedicate themselves to. Both of these wonderful people have children from a previous marriage - four boys and a girl total. They are my siblings as much as my biological sister, except we don't have the foundation of years worth of memories.













My oldest brother got married a few years ago and now has a lovely wife and a beautiful daughter. The next two oldest brothers are both seeing someone, and both relationships are rather serious from what I can gather.

I love all of my extended family very much - they have all had a hand in making me who I am, even if it's only on a small scale. When it comes to my life I am happy to share it with them; rather than having to divide it out into smaller portions, I feel my heart getting bigger with each new addition. [I have heard mothers say this about second children you don't give each child half a heart, your heart just grows twice as much to handle all the love.]















One of the great things about my family is that, to my knowledge at least, they all accept and love Jason as much as they accept and love me. It's rare to find two families that come together with no sticky issues to work through. But somehow, we have managed to make it work so far.

Except for this one little snafu. Remember the Seely House I posted about last go round? The one that barely has enough table space for all those directly involved in the wedding? I kind of forgot to factor my other siblings and their families into the guest list. I know, it's a pretty major afterthought. And it's not that I don't want them there. It was just a horrible mindslip.

So now the question becomes what to do. Technically, none of them are involved in the wedding, so they don't HAVE to be invited to the rehearsal and its successive dinner. On the other hand, they are family, and therefore should be invited. Weddings are a time for families and love and sharing together, and it doesn't work with a big chunk of mine missing.










The easy solution is to cut out anyone that isn't directly part of the wedding (and their spouses, naturally.) That way there are no hurt feelings, there's a protocol to stick to, and a clear understanding of who would and would not be included.

But what about my stepdad's kids? And his father that's flying in from New York? And my mother's parents that are flying in from Florida? They will all be arriving Friday morning/afternoon and will be the responsibility of my mom and stepdad. Do we just give them the number to the nearest Domino's and tell them we will see them in a few hours?

And if we invite my stepdad's kids, shouldn't we invite my stepfamily from my dad's side too? And since we're doing all the extended siblings, wouldn't that lend itself to definitely adding invites for Jason's sister and her husband?

It's a snowball effect. Pringles if you will. Can't invite just one (without having to add four more, at least.) Either we offend someone by being extremely exclusive, or we risk offending Jason's parents by asking them to finance a small-dinner-get-together-turned-pre-wedding-gala.

The only solution I seem to like so far is to play it by ear. Only send invites to those that need to be there for the sake of the wedding itself. Then, the week of the wedding, check out Friday's weather and make phone calls to invite more people, in the event that the weather will be agreeable and we can bring extra lawn chairs and make more room outside.

Of course, the other option is to find a new place to hold the dinner...