All's fair in love and... guest lists?

I come from a blended family. Both of my parents have moved on since their divorce, finding wonderful people to (re)dedicate themselves to. Both of these wonderful people have children from a previous marriage - four boys and a girl total. They are my siblings as much as my biological sister, except we don't have the foundation of years worth of memories.













My oldest brother got married a few years ago and now has a lovely wife and a beautiful daughter. The next two oldest brothers are both seeing someone, and both relationships are rather serious from what I can gather.

I love all of my extended family very much - they have all had a hand in making me who I am, even if it's only on a small scale. When it comes to my life I am happy to share it with them; rather than having to divide it out into smaller portions, I feel my heart getting bigger with each new addition. [I have heard mothers say this about second children you don't give each child half a heart, your heart just grows twice as much to handle all the love.]















One of the great things about my family is that, to my knowledge at least, they all accept and love Jason as much as they accept and love me. It's rare to find two families that come together with no sticky issues to work through. But somehow, we have managed to make it work so far.

Except for this one little snafu. Remember the Seely House I posted about last go round? The one that barely has enough table space for all those directly involved in the wedding? I kind of forgot to factor my other siblings and their families into the guest list. I know, it's a pretty major afterthought. And it's not that I don't want them there. It was just a horrible mindslip.

So now the question becomes what to do. Technically, none of them are involved in the wedding, so they don't HAVE to be invited to the rehearsal and its successive dinner. On the other hand, they are family, and therefore should be invited. Weddings are a time for families and love and sharing together, and it doesn't work with a big chunk of mine missing.










The easy solution is to cut out anyone that isn't directly part of the wedding (and their spouses, naturally.) That way there are no hurt feelings, there's a protocol to stick to, and a clear understanding of who would and would not be included.

But what about my stepdad's kids? And his father that's flying in from New York? And my mother's parents that are flying in from Florida? They will all be arriving Friday morning/afternoon and will be the responsibility of my mom and stepdad. Do we just give them the number to the nearest Domino's and tell them we will see them in a few hours?

And if we invite my stepdad's kids, shouldn't we invite my stepfamily from my dad's side too? And since we're doing all the extended siblings, wouldn't that lend itself to definitely adding invites for Jason's sister and her husband?

It's a snowball effect. Pringles if you will. Can't invite just one (without having to add four more, at least.) Either we offend someone by being extremely exclusive, or we risk offending Jason's parents by asking them to finance a small-dinner-get-together-turned-pre-wedding-gala.

The only solution I seem to like so far is to play it by ear. Only send invites to those that need to be there for the sake of the wedding itself. Then, the week of the wedding, check out Friday's weather and make phone calls to invite more people, in the event that the weather will be agreeable and we can bring extra lawn chairs and make more room outside.

Of course, the other option is to find a new place to hold the dinner...

EEEEEEEE! (bridal squeal)

Message from NETBRIDE.com:
Hello, Below you will find the tracking number for your package. From all of us @ NETBRIDE.COM, have a wonderful wedding!!!

Scheduled Delivery: 02-August-2007

Shipment Detail

---

Ship To:
Me
Myapartment
Mycity, Mystate, Myzip
US

Number of Packages	1
UPS Service:	GROUND
Weight:	8.8 LBS
Tracking Number:	********************
Purchase Order Number:	***** Alfred Angelo NB

~~~~~~~~~

It's FINALLY coming! It will be here this week!! Can you tell I'm excited!!! Eeeeeeee!!!!

Breaking up is hard to do

Last night Jason and I made it over to the Seely House, the little building next door to the Abbey, to check out its potential for our rehearsal dinner. It's really cute inside with bright colors and nice furniture. There's a kitchen area, a bathroom, and three rooms, all which have dining tables and chairs. There are also extra chairs, benches and couches throughout the house that don't go with any certain table but are still functioning (I don't really know of too many chairs that don't function...)

There are enough chairs for everyone who needs to be invited to the dinner, and we can invite a few extra (grandparents coming from way out of state) if people don't mind squeezing together a little tighter and making room, which I'm sure no one will.

My only concern is that everything is spread out between three rooms. We estimated there was enough room in the largest of the three to just move furniture around and have everyone, and everything, fit. But Naomi, the owner of the Abbey, said the dining table in the middle room can't be moved into the larger room because it had already ruined the floor from someone doing it in the past. The only way she will let us move it is if we call a moving company to come do it, and the last time they did that it was an $80 charge. On top of the $135 fee to rent the building and the cost of catering, plus a rehearsal dinner cake (paging Chef Meagan!) it just seems like a silly fee to pay.

Is this going to be a problem? Should I be worried about it? I just feel like if we are in three different rooms, it will force us to split into three groups, and no one will really stray outside of their family zone (ie the Williams family all sitting in one room) meaning that no one will really mingle, which is what we wanted. Especially since it'll only be the second or third time our parents have gotten together, I would hate for our seating arrangement to hinder them getting to know each other. Plus, it becomes a hassle for things like when Jason and I cut the cake or want to pass out gifts.

What do you guys think? It's been such a hassle to figure any of this out, I just want to make a decision, tell Jason's parents where to fork over their money (in more pleasant terms of course) and be done with it. Is a place that works in every other aspect (especially one so close to the Abbey) worth getting over the awkwardness of dividing into different rooms? Or should I keep looking until I find something that exceeds ALL my expectations?

Kitchen area, where the caterer will set up the food, buffet style:













One dining room (the largest room of the 3):













Second dining room (note Extremely Heavy Kitchen Table center stage):













Dining three (the smallest of the three):

Three months out!

We are exactly three months away from our wedding. And we actually got something major accomplished today - the rehearsal dinner which I've been so unmotivated about :)

I've been emailing back and forth with a lady who works for a local barbecue restaurant (Sonny Bryan's). Their catering menu is neat because they also offer fajitas, which we figured would be different enough from what we are serving at the wedding to not bore people with the same food two nights in a row.

The lady I've been talking to followed up with me yesterday to ask if I'd gotten the stuff she'd sent me and if I'd like a personal price quote. I told her that Jason and I wanted to go in and eat there before we made any decisions. She told me she would set us up with free lunch whenever we wanted, which I thought was very generous.

As luck would have it, today I wind up getting off work 4 hours early, right around lunch time. I called Jason to see if he wanted to go to a different place (Dickey's barbecue) and he suggested we go to Sonny Bryan's. So I called Adrienne and she called the SB closest to us and told them to take care of us.

Boy did they! When we got there, this really nice guy helped us figure things out. I was all set to order a barbecue baked potato, but he made an even better suggestion. Since whatever we wanted was free, he said we should each get a three meat plate with different things, so we could try a little of everything. So today Jason and I sampled the following menu:

Pulled pork
Chicken on the bone
Pork ribs
Beef brisket
Roasted turkey
Ham
Green bean casserole
Barbecue beans
French fries
Macaroni and cheese
Hot dinner rolls

It was so much food we came home with a to-go plate big enough to make a whole extra meal! To top it off, we also got free drinks, and they even sent us home with apple and cherry cobblers!!

I am so glad we went for the variety. We were able to try everything and make a decision based on all 20 people that will be in attendance that night.

Here is the final menu we are looking at:
Pulled pork
Pulled chicken
Beef brisket
Mac and cheese
Barbecue beans
Potato salad
Dinner rolls
Tea, lemonade, water
Chocolate chip cookies

What's great about this is that they drop everything off and set it up buffet style. The food comes in those big aluminum pans, so whatever is left over can be easily taken home. All the plates, cups, napkins, silverware, and even sweeteners for the tea are included! In addition, they are also going to bring buns in case anyone wants to make a sandwich.

Now we just have to present this to Jason's parents for the final approval. I'm sure they'll say yes because not only do they know how bothersome this has been for me, they agree that there aren't a whole lot of options around here to do something otherwise. Jason and I need to make an appointment to see the house that we are holding the rehearsal dinner at, but barring any complications we should be all ready to go!

Thank God this ordeal is almost over... and yay for only three more months!!!

The little things

I've been looking for some more ways to customize our reception. Sadly, we don't have the budget to do a fireworks display as we leave or to hire the cast of Cirque du Soleil to perform during dinner (though how AWESOME would that be?!?!)

The things I have in mind are on a much smaller scale, but I know that oftentimes the most personal things have little to no monetary value at all.

Last night I was talking a few friends about what they think of when they think of me (or what makes them think of me when they see it) and I came up with a fairly simple idea.

Using a template I found on About.com, I came up with personalized candy bar wrappers!

Now, I know that there are dozens of sites online that will make, print and ship these to me, but I really think paying over $1.50 apiece for a project this simple is silly. So I copied the template into Powerpoint, played around with fonts and colors, "borrowed" a bar code image from Google images, and voila! (As always, click to enlarge.)













The original template was a little different, so I covered up what I didn't want by making a box, then making both the fill and line colors white. The biggest secret was ordering everything from front to back so nothing peeked out that I didn't want showing. I even made up my own serial number (5 points to anyone who figures it out - besides Jason!)

Now I just have to decide if I want to use my toner or take the file to Kinko's to color copy. Then I will cut them out (they fit perfectly two to a page with a little margin altering) and tape them together. Easy, no?

[I am still looking other easy ways to personalize, so quiz time: what are the things that make you think of me, or, what do I make you think of?]

My baby is so tough!

Early Friday morning I got up and left for Houston. The plan was for me to get down there around 1pm and shop with my sister. Jason, who had work on Friday, was coming down later in the afternoon so that he wouldn't have to sit around while Chelsea and I did girly things. Then Jason was going to leave earlier than me on Sunday so I could shop with my mom for what she is going to wear to the wedding.

Just about as I get to Houston, I get a call from Jason, about an hour earlier than I was expecting him to call. I thought he was taking off early so I was excited. We chatted for a minute and then he goes "I don't know if I'm coming down now." So I (naturally) asked him why.

While working at a job site Friday midday, Jason was trying to bend a piece of metal. I guess he pushed it too hard because the metal not only bent, it snapped, and the resulting force was more than Jason was braced for. The base of the metal that he was holding suddenly had no resistance, and whizzed through the air. It finally stopped, after slicing Jason's arm wide open.

So, Jason finally decides the injury is bad enough to merit seeking medical attention, and proceeds to drive himself to the emergency clinic. 20 stitches and a tetanus shot later, he's all patched up. But he no longer feels like traveling alone in a car for four hours only to sit around being miserable all weekend.

I offered to turn back and come home, but he told me he didn't want to ruin my weekend and that he was a big boy who could fend for himself. So I spent all weekend wishing he was with me instead of home and all alone.

Boy is he brave. I know I would have been terrified of the whole ordeal, and I certainly would not have wanted to spend an entire weekend by myself afterwards.

And now, pictures! (A parental advisory warning to anyone with a weak stomach...)



Click to enlarge:

Cien, cent, hundert, cento, sto, hundra, hundrede!

100 days until our wedding!!! It's so close and I know time is going to fly. Ok, who am I kidding - I want it to be here now now now *stomps foot a la Veruca Salt*


I really don't have a whole lot to do in the grand scheme of wedding things. The major things can be listed in a rather short compilation:

1. Arrange the rehearsal dinner. For some reason, this is the bane of my wedding planning. Stupid little towns outside the city not having good eateries!

2. Get the dresses altered/fitted. Of course, that means I have to have the dresses in my possession. Hurry up, Alfred (yes, we are now on a first name basis, apparently...)

3. Meet with our incredibly busy pastor to finalize how everything is going to go during the ceremony. Once that's done, we can print programs, then invitations and other paper products (invitation inserts, place cards, misc. reception labels.) Then we can send the invites off so it feels more real and you all can RSVP that you're coming!

4. Bridal portrait, couple's shower, bachelor/bachelorette parties.

5. Pack for the rehearsal, pack for the ceremony, pack for the reception, pack for the honeymoon.

6. Stop worrying about everything else and enjoy our big day :)

Easily attainable in 100 days right? Of course. No worries. I refuse to fall behind. Who needs a wedding coordinator? I AM the wedding coordinator!

[Note: I'd also like to figure out one more something to help personalize our wedding a little bit more. Maybe something for the reception? I have no idea what. I just think it needs a little more *us* thrown in there. Suggestions welcome.]

Cake update

I've been emailing back and forth with Hot Chocolates about this whole cake thing. First of all, I want to clarify that they have been absolutely wonderful, patiently explaining everything to me, making suggestions, offering advice, etc. I don't want people to think I'm unhappy with them; I just had a few questions that needed answering.

We have decided to stay with the classic wedding design of stacked layers (picture 1 in my previous post) and here's why: if we opted to do the satellite set up, it would make the cake cheaper, but then we would have to pay an additional cost for the filling we wanted, for it to be two layers in each tier, for the design/decorations we want, and to top it off we'd have to buy or rent the stands for each tier. We realized that in the end we aren't really saving enough money to settle for a non wedding looking cake. So that's settled.

~~

In other news, I finally was able to verbalize my current state in all of this wedding planning: I'm at the point where I don't really have much to do (I will get busy again once the dresses come in) and so I'm starting to second guess some of the planning we have done. The biggest issue right now is the song we chose for our first dance. Don't get me wrong, it's a great song, but it's all about "her" and "she" and I kind of feel like our first dance should be about "we" and "us." Isn't that what everyone will be there for? To celebrate "our" marriage? They're not celebrating me alone. Jason will be there with me by my side all day. Shouldn't he get a mention in the song too? Am I just being silly? It's really bothering me because I focus a lot on the lyrics of songs and I just hate for it to be so one sided. Maybe it's bothering me more that every new suggestion I make Jason shoots it down without offering any other options.

Somebody do something quick! I need help!

Hot Chocolates

I spoke with my bakery the other day regarding a discrepancy between the price I was quoted for my wedding cake and the prices listed on their website. The response I got back was very interesting.

While the price-per-slice ($2.50) is very reasonable, especially considering what a big metro area we are in, if I did nothing to change the cake but opted to do it satellite style instead (where the tiers are not directly stacked on top of each other) they said they would give me the prices listed on their website, which is their pricing for birthday cakes.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around this one. For the same amount of cake, icing and decorations, simply isolating each tier suddenly makes a $164 difference? I kind of find that a little aggravating - just because it's a "wedding" cake means they can charge me more? But if I rearrange it and call it a "birthday" cake it gets cheaper? A rose by any other name is just as sweet, right?

So now I'm at a loss for what to do. Do I suck it up and pay the higher price so I can get the traditional-looking cake, or do I err on the side of saving money, since after all it's just cake and will be gone just as fast as it was made? I asked them to send me some pictures of how they would set the unstacked ones up, so when I get them I'll pass them on here. What do you guys think? What would you do in my situation?








or

















or

Wedding season

Love is in the air. By the end of this month, three ladies I've known at least since high school will all be married. I'm surprised I only know one 7-7-07 bride, though I "know" another through an online message board.

It must be terribly exciting to be able to say "I'm getting married in 48 hours!" I know that I will eventually be able to say it too, but not for awhile yet. I'm really trying hard not to wish away the next 3.5 months, because I know that they are just as monumental a time in my life as every other chapter in the book. It's one of those things that you want forever to start NOW! because you've known it was coming for years. Honestly though, with as excited as I already am (last night I looked at Jason and said "We're getting married!") I hope my poor heart and head can take the inevitable increase in these emotions!

This weekend's lake party, coupled with spending time with the family at the lake again for 4th of July last night, just makes me appreciate all that I have in my life because I know just how blessed I am to have friends that would lay their lives down for me. I also could not be getting a better family if I had asked for it. I just need to focus on these feelings of belonging and acceptance and love, and it puts the little wedding "things" back into perspective.

Now where is that amazing fiance of mine...?

Energizer keeps going

After the party this weekend and realizing how truly amazing all of my friends are, it makes me even more eager for the wedding to get here already! I'm still trying to get everything done now to avoid the stress of running around wishing I'd taken care of things sooner.

Today's big project was to tackle a lot of the DIY printing stuff. I made a mock-up of our ceremony program and I also picked out the music that we will use at all the different times. The one thing I wanted to avoid was long songs where we just stand around while our guests watch us chat with the pastor, so be prepared for some songs not to make it from start to finish. I ran all of the details by Jason when he got home, showed him my mock-up and he likes them, so now I need to purchase nicer paper (or some type of print-it-yourself kit) and finalize the order of events when we have the next meeting with our pastor - whenever that is - and they'll be ready to go to press!

Along with the programs, I created the inserts that will go in the envelope with the invitations - there's a map, suggested hotels to stay at, and driving directions coming from the two major highways near our venue. [FYI - Hwy 45 is NOT a practical way to get here, so get over that now!] I also am including a little blurb directing everyone to our wedding website for more info. I just have to decide if I'm going to do each piece as a separate insert, or save myself the time of cutting each sheet into three separate pieces. My laziness may win out on this one. Have to buy semi-decent paper for this project, too.

I started thinking about how I want to do escort/place cards and I'll admit I haven't got much. Originally, we weren't going to do a designated seating arrangement, but given that our guest list is larger than what we can (comfortably) fit into our reception room while still having enough room for a head table and a dance floor, we realized we can't afford for every table to have an empty seat open. As it is, many of our tables will be seating nine, so unless we work and rework numbers a bunch of times, there will inevitably be people forced to sit alone in those odd onesies. We don't want to cause guests awkward turtle moments because that's when they'll opt to just leave, so we will be putting a lot of thought into who sits where so that everyone at least knows one other person at their table. Of course, I can start working on how to set the display up and how to design it to fit with the rest of our wedding, but I can't very well assign table buddies and numbers until I start to get most of the RSVPs back. So listen up, people - when you get an invitation from us, please please PLEASE send back the response card quickly!

I keep having to remind myself to slow down, enjoy being engaged (it's the shortest "chapter" in my life) and focus on more things besides just this weekend. While the party this weekend really opened my eyes to who my true friends are, it also helped me reconnect with many of them, face to face, being active and generally not talking much about the wedding, except for how excited everyone is. That makes my heart happy that the people I care about most are not only supportive, but excited about our marriage. It reaffirms (not that I need it) that Jason and I really do make a great team!

Happy trumps exhaustion

This weekend we had a party with all of our friends down at the Granbury lakehouse. We're sorry to those of you who missed it, we missed you too. We had a lot of fun and it was wonderful to see all of our friends and have them finally meet Jason's parents who, everyone agrees, were wonderful in every way. Our friends all finally got to meet each other and everyone got along great. We are so excited for October to get everyone together again.

We have the best friends in the world!